And you thought rock snot, frack fluid, and poachers were a bitch?

Gator left out in cold, police looking for owner: 

Bethlehem police took [an] alligator into custody Monday night after a city resident found it in the 1400 block of Schoenersville Road, near the Monocacy Creek and the Bethlehem Racquetball Club.

The one found in Bethlehem only weighed 5 pounds.

DiLuzio said this is the fourth or fifth alligator he has seen in his more than 20 years with the department.

"We've had snakes, we've had alligators, we've had bears," DiLuzio said. "So far, no lions or tigers. 

Do you see what I have to deal with, here? Fucking alligators! At least the rattlesnakes warn you before they ruin your shit, but alligators, well...

Ain't right.


Now I need to add crocodilians to my list of unreasonable trout stream fears, along with drowning, finding a body, and being struck by lightening.


This was all much less stressful when I sat on the couch and played Tony Hawk all weekend long instead of fishing. The sole upside to this stupidity is that it happened the day season closed on that stretch so I didn't end up like some sort of African veldt hippo.


On the other hand, I'll pay someone to release their carnivorous reptiles in the Illicks Mill Park during the stupid private club bullshit contests in late May.


Seriously, people. If you're looking to dump your alligators, caimans, or crocodiles please let me know. I'll buy you lunch and promise not to turn you in. Do it for the lulz.