If I'm lucky, the universe will coincide nicely between the moment between meetings with people I don't care about discussing problems I don't want to care about with an hour long sojourn to the local park where a rising cloud of blue winged olives I do care about will be imitated nicely on a fly rod I thought I didn't care about upon which it turns out that I do.
This is why at 2:38am I was tying four tiny little flies with the first scraps I could find on my desk. There are many things I should be devoting time to. All of these things I do are not among them.
This is a problem. However, I'll continue to put it off one hour at a time.
And now, a tangent: Moustaches.
They're fucked up. Let's be honest about it.
Not only that, but I'm convinced few modern men grow moustaches as anything but some sort of post modern ironic statement sort of thing. Yet, I'm sure I (and a sample of friends) aren't the only ones who've sat around and said, "fuck, I should grow a moustache coz that'd be funny looking."
So, you do. And you look at this thing under your nose in the mirror and think, "fuck me in the neck, that looks pretty damned good."
Suddenly, you're serious. You've got a moustache and you think its awesome. You might tell people that its to be funny, but you're pretty proud of it.
And you talk to your guy friends and everyone admires your awesome 'stache, and life is pretty good.
Mustaschioed and shit, eh wot?
Except the women. All women hate them. They have to. Think about it, right now, if you can think clearly from a position of non-moustacheship. Its ridiculous. They all, no matter what, are completely stupid and completely unattractive to women everywhere.
I should know, I grew what I termed the "white power moustache" for a couple weeks. Evidently, in the real word this is called a "horseshoe moustache" by people in the know. All I know is I once had a guy who worked for me who had done time, and was going to do time again and grew one. When I mocked him (and pointed out because we worked in the Food Service Industry at the time that it was against regs) he told me he needed this ridiculous thing to not get his ass kicked by the Aryan Nation in the pen.
I am unsure if this is true or not. Was a good story. Also, he did go back to prison. No, I did not grow my "white power moustache" because I'm into white power (which I'm not), but because its highly ridiculous and my lack of awesome 'stache power permitted its growth.
Also, the meaning behind symbols is so fucking lost anymore, anyways. For fuck's sake, I see the weaselish fucking weasel kids on the planet wearing spider web tattoos on their elbows. There was a time (when I did, fwiw, hang out with white power kids because we all went to same hardcore shows, not because I was into their line of shit) that wearing that sort of shit around while being an utter poser would've had your ass kicked eight ways to Sunday by a pack of obnoxious wanna be Nazis.
One of who we called Tits-and-Lips. I don't really know why either, but outside of a freakish desire to belong to a pack of assholes, Tits-and-Lips was actually a nice kid. Just stupid.
I feel like I'm off point, so to go back a bit... All women hate them. Don't believe me? Go ahead, grow one. Outside of girls who might admire your outside-the-box thinking (hipster chicks, I guess), any normal thinking lady is going to think you look like a complete douche with that shit under your nose. This was the point of that prior several paragraphs of shit, I grew the
And because I thought it was awesomesauce I kept that shit on for nearly a month. Eventually I cracked. All men do.
So, all women hate moustaches and yet... men love them.
And this, I can only assume, explains the popularity of the moustache amongst the gay set. At least the hairy bear side of that house.
Maybe I'm wrong.
If the stats logs are any indicator of the weird sort of shit people search for that come to this page (reference "alligator dicks," and the fact that this will bring even more random hits to this shit), eventually I'll have some bear seeking Internet pornsters hitting htis shit up.
Go ahead. Leave an anonymous comment. WHY do you like moustaches? Explain it!
edit: an important update. less than what seven hours of writing this shit the stats page shows this entry:
girls hate horshoe moustacheAwful spelling aside, this is just basic proof.