12 Years a Slave...to capitalism and it's inability to give us a local fly shop.

 First off, holy shit I'm writing in this thing again. Why?

 

   

But more importan...oh for fuck's sake none of this is important. It's a glorified girl's middle school diary where a fatman cries about fishing or some shit.. but.. Whatever.. On topic, just over 12 years ago I complained about the only fucking fly shop our shitty location can hold.

 

And now I want to complain about it again.

I. Went. Fishing. (was Kabuto 8053, pt 2: A "review;" and vulgarity laced musing on dry fly purism and gearsnobbery.)

Yesterday was April 20th, 2024.

 

I went fishing.

 

I forgot what it's like to go outside the house. Also, holy FUCK did I get fucking FAT. And my feet hurt. And I don't know where any of my shit got to so I just grabbed random shit that was all teh worst shit ever for a fat fucking fuck stuck on the banks because I cant' fit into my waders and I didn't wanna wet wade coz its fucking cold and I'm a baby.

 

But.. I went fishing. So that counts, right? Shit, I still know how to do it!

 

Also here's something that was waiting as a draft from 1/10/18. I'll never complete it. Hell, I won't even READ it, but I'm gonna fuckin' post it.

 

So there you have it.

 

---------------------------------

 

After my first year or three of fly fishing, I'd settled into patterns. I only fished dry flies, or a dry/dropper with an unweighted fly 18" or so under a bushy dry, and I frequented 20' to 30' wide tree lined creeks. I was,  I think, moderately successful, at using these flies and setups and was only getting better at it. At the time, I was busy formulating my fishing timearound these two styles.

Traditionally speaking, "dry fly action" rods were fast, tip, action regardless of the material. If you look at current dictum, assholes say you fish dry flies with slow rods, and this is why they're assholes. Slow rods don't dry your flies on a cast. Slow rods aren't precision tools that generate tight loops into small targets. Slow rods don't set the hook with aplomb when you're fishing up stream and with mended line across braids. Those are all attributes of faster rods.

What slow rods do well, though, is provide that tactile and great feeling of a rod loading and unloading. They provide a more visceral enjoyment in casting your line, which is arguably the draw to a dry fly purist. The thing is, a fiberglass (or bamboo) rod can provide that feeling as you get to enjoy the feeling of the rod's loading and unloading due to the mass in the tip, the way you can feel the energy roll out your arm and down the rod and line.

Home, sweet home.

I'd spent some time looking for the right rod to fit the criteria of how and where I fish the aforementioned dry fly purist thing in small, usually forested, creeks. I'd gone from an 8' 4wt Versitex rod (fished with a SA GPX 4wt line, making it essentially a 5wt rod) to a Fenwick 756, 7'6" 6wt rod which really helped me understand that fiberglass didn't mean limp. In usage, the two rods basically handled the same, the two (or, really, one) line weight difference being lost in the way the material itself handled casting (glass versus IM6 graphite).

All of this long-winded preamble shit basically sets up my preferred choice to fish these flies in these waters: A rod that's a true medium (to med-fast, if you must), 8', AFTMA 5wt, and (for me) fiberglass. It also had to look fucking stellar because this was going to be my perfect rod. So, I ordered a Kabuto 8053 blank; based on word of mouth, it met my requirements. Now I've finished it, and fished it quite a few times, and I'm willing to tell others what I think, because I'm a big enough fuckin egotist to assume you give a shit.

And its my blog, so whatever.

glade squires sounds like a dick.

I dunno, I go do a thing and not some things and I guess there's some sort of new level of dickery about a local creek. So like, I read more and it appears that there's a guy who's parents actually named him "Glade Squires." 

I mean, don't get me wrong, "Squires" is pretty badass as far as names go. I mean you've got.. what, a popular misspelling of a guitar manufacter and Chris Squire, who played a guitar but is only singularly named, and not plural. Actually, I guess "Squires" isn't very cool at all, other than the q.

So duder's some sort of guy of importance in the fish commission, and now he's all hot to stock local creeks in strange new ways:

Commissioner Glade Squires, of Chester County, suggested the commission stock the creek within the park boundaries with rainbow trout and allow all-tackle fishing for them specifically. The commission could maintain the existing trophy trout rules in regards to brown trout, he said.

Such a change makes sense because Saucon Creek represents “a significant opportunity” to provide fishing in an urban setting for families, he added.

 So, I guess that's an idea.

And holy shit, did we even talk about the name "Glades?" Who names their fucking kid "Glades?"  How goddamned douchey is that name? Can I say that without it being libel or something? Anyways, Glades. Holy crap.

So, yeah. Glades has strange and awful ideas. He also had support from people with far more common names. These are the people who are responsible for our shitty sport continuing, and fuck knows Saucon Creek has enough problems without crap like that; like the coop hatchery the local mouthbreathers keep trying to open on the banks of this place, a hatchery that ole Glades was also in support of.

So, I dunno. Maybe it's not the place you go, but the thing is if it starts in one shitty stream in my backyard how do you know the next one won't be in yours? http://fishandboat.com/inform.htm

flyfishing hipsterism.

i did it before it was cool.

Holy shit, lehigh valley local topical shit and what not.

Them there local TU types along with some sort of artsy shit thing here in the Valley are bringing one of them there fancy fly fishin' kinda movies in for the townies.

The fine people at Monocacy TU have a full article here, but the short of it is on December 17th, they'll be presenting "Kiss the Water," a documentary (I guess) about reknowned (I guess) salmon fly tier Megan Boyd.

OK, so there's not much I can go on there... Deal with it. How about I parrot more copy from the PR campaign for the film, itself?

....

Oh fuck that, I don't know. I saw shit about movie festivals I never heard of, and all sorts of nonsense. It doesn't matter. You know what does matter... The fact that someone is doing something of note about our little sport in the third largest metropolitan area of Pennsylvania that somehow has no fucking presence or note at all in the larger fishing community. I mean, seriously, how much of that sort of thing actually happens here? None. None at all. We live in a fucking black hole of that sort of thing despite the fact that you'd think those fly fishing film tours should swing right the fuck through here.. I'm not sure I ever need to see the latest and greatest gopro'd hero shots of someone's fishing trip in Timbuktu, but fuckall if I wouldn't at least like the option to say "no" to that nonsense.

So how about you take $10 out of your wallet and head down to the Artsquest building on the 17th and watch this shit? Think of it, you'll get 80 minutes or so of entertainment in the middle of an otherwise shitty cold season of little to no fishing and a lot of holiday assholery.. Furthermore, the more of us who show up at this, the more likely someone will do this again, and furthermore, the money they raise goes to shore up the shitty state of our local streams.

Its win all around. You win. Our blasted landscape wins. The people putting this on win. Winning!

Shit starts at 6pm; a pre-game warmup if you will, with the local fry frishing champions out in force doing what we do best (presumably standing around, orating and issuing grandiose statements on the superiority of fly fishing over gear; you know there's gonna be some tweed up in that bitch).


More info at www.monocacytu.org and www.artsquest.org.

I buy shit.

But sometimes it can turns out OK.

Before.

After.

Fucking off the CWA, historians, and a select population of stringer janglers.

Now you see it...

...Now you don't.

Thanks in no small part to the efforts of the Monocacy Creek TU Chapter, the City of Bethlehem, and the many people who are responsible for the festering sore of shit known as Musikfest (coz flooding is bad for business, and you know they cried about it endlessly, lost revenue, etc etc etc; Money is our God), the dam in Johnson Park along Monocacy Creek is now gone.

Actually, it has been for awhile now. I just don't care to do updates because, honestly, this is pretty lame and I realize now. Not "this" the dam removal, "this" a ridiculous egocentric blog wherein I tell you all about whatever shit I've done gone and bought (that'll be the next few installments).

Anyways, let's get on with the good bits. I tried to be useful, and tried to take some before/after pictures, and figure we'll just post them because that is interesting.

That said, lemme specify when I say "I tried," I sort of forgot to take more corresponding pictures of further up the damed section, which was basically a long, slow, flat and shitty pool unsuitable for anything other than the poor bastard stockies which hadn't been slaughtered, some fat carp, and more ducks than you'd know what to do with.

No more frog water.

Now, however, about two weeks after the breaching, and after the work crews have completed and moved on there's some great riffles, some holding water, and the newfound ability of fish to move further up the creek rather than be stuck at a lowhead dam and able to be murdered easily by the creeling masses of the greater Bethlehem area. Ha ha, fuck you and work for it, assholes.

So, after the cut, way more fucking pictures of things that aren't very important to most people, including alot of very-nearly-the-same perspective pictures.

Superfine Touch 904-4 build.

Last rod project completed, I'm done building shit because I don't really foresee much less I don't own, I didn't really need this one, either, but I wanted a longer rod that would also be light, which meant graphite.

There's not much out there in the way of slower action, full flexing, graphite except for the venerable Orvis Superfine, except I couldn't afford a $500 rod, hence building and the sudden burst of activity (I'd been sitting on those other blanks for a long time).

The blank is an Orvis Superfine Touch 904-4, only Mudhole.com sells Orvis' blanks, and they Superfines are built-to-order, so prepare to wait 3 to 6 weeks. Like the last two rods, I used a cheap Fenwick-style half wells grip, an aluminum featherweight downlocking seat, and PacBay lightwire snakes and TiCH stripper. Orvis provided spacing, and guide size was determined by expanding the data provided by Tom Morgan Rodsmiths in his guide charts (st8-2-1-1-1/0-1/0-1/0-2/0-2/0-2/0-tip). Thread was PacBac midnight black nylon, and Gudebrod red/black twist both in size A with two coats of Flexcoat CP and finished with two coats of Flexcoat Lowbuild.

Now, if only I could find free time during the day to use all these new toys.

Yearly trico fuckstory.

Its 5:34am on a Monday morning when most people are heading into work.

I could be standing in the middle of a well regarded trico stream fishing banty drakes to stupid fish in about 30 minutes from walking out my door.

I have a fully rigged rod, plus a spare leader, a little jar of trico spinners, and everything I need sitting in the car.

The entire thing is ready to go for my yearly trico ritual.

And... I don't care. Its a stupid hatch for stupid people. Tricos are assholes. I'm going to bed.

Kabuto 8053, pt 1.

The second rod I've started is done, a Kabuto 8053 in the translucent white.

I think I ordered the blank nearly two years ago, and was probably sitting on it for 18 months. I decided I needed to finally do it, and put it together.

I was, honestly, originally planning on making this some sort of magnum opus for me, the ultimate rod, one rod to rule them (etc).

That was when I only fished dry flies. Shit, now I only fish wet flies, so, well, fuck that one rod shit, huh? That said, I only had it out a little bit, but I'll wax poetic on it after I've used it for awhile.

There's few times I feel like I'm doing a public service with this shitty blog, but talking about an obscure fly rod you'll never see in a shop might be one of them. I'll do that after I've had some more time (and fish) with it.

Anyways, build details follow.

One orange provides 116.2% of your daily dose of vitamin C.

And complete.

Anything to avoid the responsibilities of life.

 

South Fork Rod Company C9052.

Steeped in olde timey, bitches. 

In the fall, I decided I'd finally put the time and effort into making wet flies work. I've thrown myself into it, preferring them to all things (although I haven't tried them through a major hatch, yet, mostly because there haven't been any), but I've been assured that I should do so by someone who's opinion I trust.

Amongst things devoted to wet flies has been an interest in obtaining a rod to fish them correctly. At this time, I have little interest in the North Country, tight line method espoused by such notables as Oliver Edwards and Davy Wotton (a personal note to Mr. Wotton: Please consider a manicure before your next video. For the love of God, your nails are revolting, and since you're tying flies I'm forced to look at the disguisting things. Yes, this matters), but am much more focused on the more traditional cross stream methods most commonly associated (and derided) with wet fly fishing.

I tried a couple of rods to start, first a 10' TFO Jim Teeny 5wt (with a 6wt line), which turned up the myriad of shortcomings, both expected and not: Tight loops and high line speed are not ideal for wet fly fishing. You want to keep loops open to ensure your droppers don't tangle each other (which can be done somewhat by simply changing stroke), but the line speed issue is more or less integral to things due to the intrinsic power you put into a stiff rod. The thing I didn't know ahead of time is that fast line speed turns fuck ups into catastrophes, meaning if you tangle your line against itself in a bad cast, you're gonna end up cutting and retying alot. When your cast hits a branch, it tends to wrap itself tight, and you'll loose a lot more flies, whereas a slow rod allows your tangles to be unwound without constant recutting, and you can retrieve flies without having to clomp across the stream.

So, the Teeny was out, and a $20 eBay (including shipping!)  Silafex 022985 was in. We're closer, as its slower, fuller action seemed to prevent alot of the issues, but its basically a 6/7wt (emphasis on 7wt) rod, which is a bit too much for the small fish I frequent. I may have resolved the issues of a fast rod, but it was definitely overkill for the smaller waters I frequented.

Come the Somerset Fly Show, I met with Cameron from TFM, and mentioned what I'd been fishing. He suggested a rod I should try out, and said he'd send a loaner up my way.

Three weeks later, I came home to a surprise at my door.

Stewart's OTHER three flies.

The spider, a dubbed wet, and a hackled wet. This is all the direction

we were left with. 

Before you read this, realize I'm not a historian, an artist, or really very clued in. I just needed something to occupy my mind this extended weekend, and I decided this was something that I found relevant to my interests.

And, again, tied as I interperted the pattern descriptions with modern

materials.

What I'm getting at is if I'm wrong, fuck off, I followed the instructions in a 155 year old book. So, y'know, its pretty much open to interpertation. Deal with it. That aside, I'm not going to bother writing a biography of WC Stewart, because frankly all I'd do is plagiarize others, anyways. Its not like he's not a hugely pivotal figure in fly fishing, more or less advocating the use of the upstream wet fly, and helping push the spider technique of tying into the lime light.

So, whenever anyone really discusses Stewart, its all about the three spider patterns we were left with (black, red, and dun), but we were left with three additional patterns as well as these words:

The three following are the winged flies to which we are most partial... An immense number of killing flies may be made by varying the wings and body, but nothing is gained by extending he number beyond those just mentioned, and we do not believe six more killing imitations can be manufactured.

Now, he's referred to six flies, so its important to note the first three are his spiders. More interestingly, though, is that Stewart clearly believed in the appearance of life over strict imitation, and furthermore (as well documented), was so willing to put preference of technique and design over imitation, one of his famous spider descriptions (the dun) didn't even bother to note the thread colour.

Anyways, the short of it is that the guy was able to reduce his pattern collection to six, which is in stark contrast to guys who carry six different boxes of nymphs, alone. Maybe we can learn something? Let's look at all six patterns in turn...

I stole this for my own records, it ain't mine. Deal.

I admit, I'm lifting this wholly from another source. Its a bullshit move, and I'm a dick for doing it, but I'm doing it for my own personal records.

Someone has posted original scans of the feather plates from Leonard West's "The Natural Trout Fly and Its Imitation"(pg 73 through 91).

To you, Mike Conner, I say thank you, as well to the posting at the Fly Fishing in Maryland forum I lifted this from. I highly suggest the original post as Mike Conner, the poster, added many very helpful. personal notes that I don't feel is right to steal. The descriptions and plates are PD, but his information is not, please view it at its original site as long as its there.

Plates and annotation after the jump...

Your granddad's weird shit: Thompson Wing Former.

Not pictured: Sea King.

I don't know where I saw this thing first (actually, not true, but I'm not giving them the traffic), but I knew upon seeing it, I wanted it.

I love your old school wet flies. I bought Bergman's trout strictly to have access to plates upon plates of painted wet flies I knew I'd never actually be bothered to tie, and I enjoy trying to tie them. I also have a hard-on for stupid gadgets, so a press that would shit out perfectly formed quill slips?

Fuck yeah, Sea King.

And with that, I started on a quest for a D.H. Thompson Wing Former, so, I enlisted the help of fellow forum degenerates, and within a few weeks I had one winging its way to my door.

Flies of our Fathers

The "Hardhead." It looks "fishy." Don't you hate people who say that shit?

This is a delightful post about bullshit fly tying, an activity that should be confined to the winter when its generally too shitty to go outside, but if you want to go outside, lemme mention an "event" that a friend of mine, who does not have an ugly American flag coat, likes to have this thing he terms the "Eastern PA Flyfishing Tying [Event]." That's not actually what he calls it, but unless you're versed in idiocy, "jam" makes it sound gay.

And not the good sort of life-of-the-party, occasionally catty, usually well dressed fun to be around happy gay but the seedy van-in-a-parking-lot creepy gay that no one wants to think about.

Anyways, he's doing this for the second year and its mostly a byproduct of a "local" forum getting together and shit. Not unlike that flag jacket guy thing, there'll be lots of assholes tying shit, but its not a trade show or a sell shit event, the format is geared towards the idea that a newbie will show up and learn, even though its basically a bunch of guys from said forum sitting around in a room. Y'know, tying flies. And shit. FWIW, its nice to put a face to your Internet nemesis once in awhile.  Read more, if you want (or not, that's the same link as before), or fuck off... Y'know, whatever.

Anyways, Awhile back, I was killing time in a used bookstore when I came across  a copy of Taking Larger Trout (pub 1950) by Larry Koller for $2.

Being a fan of old shit, and books with meticulously hand drawn colour plates (can someone explain the difference between a plate and a picture, besides classiness of term?), I bought it and promptly stuck it on a shelf and forgot about it.

This weekend, I found a really striking, and forgotten, fly in the back pages of it, the Hardhead.

A fly so striking I was immediately taken by it, and promptly tied, the shimmering swords and contrast in body materials came across immediately in print, that even if I never catch anything on it, I had to at least take an interest in making it.

Marc Petitjean wunderbobbin: You want how much for this nonsense? Eff you, Swedish Dude. Eff. You.

(please note "eff you" as a stand in for "fuck you" in the title, that's my little acknowledgement that the shit I spew ends up in many others' feeds)

And now, part 2 of a two part series of shit I'd never fucking bother with if it wasn't dirt cheap, or free, the Marc Petitjean Magic Bobbin. Shit? Maybe its just Marc Petitjean Bobbin? There's a Magic Tool, right, so is this shit magic or not? Well, definatly not, but is it suggested that its magical? I just checked the Official Site, it's MP-TT Bobbin. WTF does that even mean?

Magical? Uhm... You know what its not? Cheap. Not by a long shot. Said official site suggests its $63 in proper American cash. Sixty-three!

Yeah, you're goddamned right I didn't spend that much. Shit, even at list price (thank you very much), I agonized over dropping the coin, but knew I'd be able to sell it for what I paid if I didn't like it.

So, what do you get for $63?

1. Built-in tensioner.
2. Quick threading capability.
3. Built in dubbing loop hook thingy.
4. Pettyjean Inc claims, "perfectly balanced." Sure. OK.
5. Smug sense of look at my bobbin, my bobbin is amazing..?

Is it worth it?

What's Cortland suggesting..?

Trannies.

Couple years back, I bought some shitty ass China cane on megaclearance from Cabela's. One of the guys in the Fly Cave (am I making that up, or is it actually referred to as a Cave?) said that Cortland Sylk was the bee's knees for those sorts of rods.

He's right. With a lone "speciality" application, my last four fly line purchases have all been Cortland 444 Sylk DTs. Each one's been fished hard they've all lasted really well, with only one complaint (they crack at the whipped loop every single time, wish they'd do a welded loop).

All, except my last one which cracked and fell apart for about 3' straight, generally about where I figure eight retrieve. And after maybe six months.

So, I complained, and Cortland very quickly, and nicely, sent me a replacement line and didn't ask for the old one back (dual taper, I'm just gonna flip that shit around and fish the other end before I put the new one on). Who can possibly complain about their customer service? It was awesome.

What confuses me though was the use of a German newspaper to pad the box.

The sex classified section, none the less.

Explain.
(update: oh, shit, they did a welded loop, i guess if i wasn't baffled by the packaging i'd have noticed that, go cortland! bet it snaps off in a month)